Xander's father, a painter, and mother, a school teacher, married and provided him with costumes instead of toys. This sparked his interest in school plays and community theater. At 16, he joined an experimental theater troupe, which was an offshoot of Joseph Chaikin's Open Theater in New York. This group had a profound impact on his development as both a person and an actor, teaching him to take risks and be open to the unknown.
After college, Xander moved to New York and studied with private teachers from the Royal Academy of the Arts, the Moscow Arts Theater, and HB Studios. He also spent time with Lee Strasberg at The Actor's Studio during the last years of his life.
Xander worked in regional and repertory theaters, as well as off-Broadway, but eventually made the transition to film acting. His breakthrough role was in "Mommie Dearest" (1981),which gave his career a cultish twist. He went on to work with acclaimed directors such as Alex Cox, James Cameron, and Todd Haynes.
Xander's choices were often determined by the opportunity to learn from directors he admired. He worked with Clint Eastwood, Ron Howard, and Michael Mann, among others. He also appeared in a range of independent and big-budget films, playing lead roles and smaller character-driven parts.
In addition to his film work, Xander has also worked in television, including a stint on the popular series "24" (2001). He met his wife, Sarah Clarke, on the show and they were married in 2002. They have two daughters, Olwyn and Rowan.
Recent favorite roles of Xander's include "Arlen Pavich" in "North Country" (2005),"The King of Sodom" in "Year One" (2009),and "Sonny" in "Cook County" (2008).